From Unseen to Unstoppable: Ria's Journey of Self-Discovery
The intimacy between parents and children is very important. The ability to manage emotions and conflicts, as well as a child's resilience, always starts with the presence of parents who accompany every challenge the child faces and every solution the child finds. When parents are out of the child reach, then struggling to live life alone becomes the only option. Absent parents actually put children in a very vulnerable condition. This vulnerability is often overlooked even by those in the closest environment because it tends to be hidden in a child's heart.
When a child's basic foundation is not fulfilled, then the closest environment to the child determines whether the child can grow into a empowered human being. If a child can find a person or group that can fill the void of a father and mother figure, then the child can more easily process everything that happens inside and outside him/her. This is what was experienced by one of the former sponsored child of Wahana Visi Indonesia from Surabaya, East Java.
"Until junior high school I was still insecure because I felt like no one was supporting me. I doubted myself. I once felt like a child who was unwanted by my parents. I was confused even when taking my report card in school, because no one accompanied me," said Ria, currently 29 years old.
Finding Peace in Discomfort
No one expected that Ria, who is now a working mother and entrepreneur, went through an uncomfortable childhood. Since childhood, she had to be away from her parents because they moved to Banten. The area where she lived was also next to the Gang Dolly red-light district. Promiscuity, gambling, and drug abuse became everyday facts that Ria had to live through. She grew up alone. In the midst of blending with her peers, Ria was also often "unseen". Her physical self was there, but maybe no friends paid attention to her. "It's like there were no ears that could hear what I wanted to say. I grew up by myself," she said.
In this vulnerable situation, it was easy for Ria to plunge her adolescence into negative things. There were so many reasons for Ria to be trapped in negative actitivities in order to escape loneliness. "But I remember my parents having to go abroad to provide for my living expenses. I don't blame my parents either because the situation is like this. So I chose to keep myself busy with positive things. Joining the student council at school, joining KBA (Children's Learning Group) and the Children's Forum that WVI facilitated at that time," said the woman who works as a secretary in one of the organisations in Surabaya.
At elementary school age, KBA became an activity that accompanied her in doing schoolwork and accessing various lessons. Approaching adolescence, the Children's Forum made Ria not feel alone and learn to care more about others. When she became a student, a short project called Student Company opened Ria's insight into the world of entrepreneurship. In various phases of her life as a child to a young adult, Ria managed to process her discomfort. On the other hand, the assistance provided by WVI became a corridor that helped Ria fill her childhood with many positive things.
"For me, in the past, tutoring lessons were something expensive. But I was able to join KBA after school, learn English and subjects for free. In the Children's Forum, I learned how to express opinions and feelings well and could become a peer educator or peer confidant. When I was in college, WVI involved me in a project on entrepreneurship which became a provision to start my own wedding organiser," said the graduate of the Faculty of Management from Surabaya State University (Unesa).
Bringing Impact for The Closest One
Becoming a child who has experienced change, Ria's dream now is to become a useful person starting from the closest people. She reflects on the facilitators of the Children's Forum and WVI staff in Surabaya who have shared benefits for her. For her, giving benefits to the closest people does not need to be grandiose. "We can be useful for others just by listening their stories. Like the Children's Forum facilitators used to make me feel like there was a friend who listened, directed, and reminded me to continue living with positive visions and missions," she said.
The change she applies starts from her current family. She finishes the bitterness of her childhood and strives for comfort in the family. "In the past, WVI taught the four basic rights of children, now I apply it to my child. Starting to give space and listen to my child. I joined parenting classes and I educated my mother so that we have sampe parenting style," said the mother of a four-year-old child.
Ria also extends its benefits to others by opening job opportunities for students. Students can work part-time at Solusi Acaraku, her wedding organiser business. Motivated from her experience of being able to graduate from college because she could earn income as a freelancer, she helped students in needs of additional income. "It's useless for me to have a degree if the people around me are still hungry, still uneducated," she asserted.
"I used to get valuable experience through WVI. Being able to study outside of school hours, learning public speaking which is still used today and can even be a source of income, being able to pass interviews when applying for school scholarships, being able to participate in the Asia Youth Forum in Japan in 2017, and much more. I have achieved my dreams one by one, so now my dream is no longer to pursue a job or achievements, but the most important thing is to be a person who brings impact to others," said Ria.
Sharing Life’s Wisdoms
The uniqueness of Ria's life journey has made her not only have a broad insight, but also a caring heart. She has succeeded in becoming an empowered woman and Wahana Visi Indonesia is very honored to be a part of Ria's life. Now she can reflect on her life and find a lot of wisdom in life.
"Everything cannot be built in a day or two. It must start from today, from yourself. If there are young people who are currently in an uncomfortable environment, let's change, don't stay in the same condition," Ria advised. She also encouraged other adults to create a child-friendly environment. Adults are responsible as role models for children. "Because children imitate adults. If the adults are in a less good direction, more or less the children will imitate. So be a wise adult, who can be exemplified by the children around us," she concluded.
Author: Mariana Kurniawati (Communication Executive)
